I check the calendar one more time, hoping it will change its mind and hit the brakes. I do it with one eye closed, dreading what I am just about to see. Oh God, it’s true. December is really here. But what happened? It was January just yesterday! And then it hits. 2019 is really, really over.
With a clearer vision I sit reflecting on the year gone.
I first reflect on those special moments when I truly felt alive. Like the excitement of releasing the first issue of The Elixir on January One and watching it expand into paper only few months later. There was graduating college, and receiving my Bachelor Degree after nursing the fear of never reaching that far. It was walking into Hertz for the very first time and suddenly feeling home. It was finally holding my Best Friend’s hands after 5 long years. It was those who came, stayed and changed my life forever.
But then there were the shadowed moments. The ones left behind closed doors and silenced sobs. The moments no one knew about but me and I alone. Such moments were when I lost sense of the world around me, deafened by the hammering of the world within. Such moments appeared in the disappointments that I have prepared myself for over and over again yet once they happened; I was exposed to the pain all the same. They solidified in the fears that crushed me and stood between me and conquering what was distend for me. Through the battles I had to fight and fought alone. Those moments manifested in the people who left unannounced, the questions left unanswered and above all, the nights that were too long I thought dawn was never coming.
So the good and bad of life generate the best melodies, just like the white and black keys of the piano. They create the balance and harmony of human existence and every time, through it all, you survive. Not because you want to, but because you have no other choice. In facing hardships, you are surprised at your strength that you no longer recognize who you are. And during the happier times you are born again and the little child in you surfaces and you celebrate together your every achievement. From the good moments you keep the memory along with the feelings it generated. And from the bad ones, you are soothed to know that nothing lasts forever. And remember, the moment you think the world has ended, that is when you are few moments away from it starting all over again.
Happy New Year, Make 2020 Fabulous!