7TH ISSUE POETIC ISSUE

LETTER TO MY BELOVED

Ogu Chukwuebuka Kizito

Reminiscing on my journey to this sad, dejected state I found myself. I remember when you said: you will always be there for me, but when the time came you were missing in action (MIA). She promised love and now all I see is everything but love. She was the only thing that filled this lonely gap in my heart.

Here, I am a lone man, with no money, no fame, and most importantly no one to call mine. She was the fame I knew, the money I never had and the love I could kill for. I spent days mourning her absence in my life. Even when she gave me signs that she will leave me, I still clung to the hope that she will judge me by my devotions to her and my naked, lonely and vulnerable heart. For she was all I had, in this loveless and joyless life.

Even though I pretended that all was well, within me I was living between the line of sanity and insanity. Sometimes, I broke down in the dead of the night, when the pillow still smelt of her fragrance, when the bedcover, still smelt of her perfume. At such nights, the tears in my eyes, like a waterfall, fell without control, the pain in my heart seemed to drill a hole through my heart, when I awoke to the rays of the sun, I wished I were dead. This lover I had given the keys to my life, this lady I once knew as an angel, this thing called love I once felt for you, this agent that swept every rudiment of my life, can kill me. I feel blood in my bleeding
heart, I stopped crying because I know I have run out of tears.

I had made her the pillar of my happiness and now that my pillar is gone, I will forever carry this scar that she left me with. They say time heals all wounds, but I doubt it could heal mine. But each passing day I must learn to live with my wound. I must forever carry this scar in my heart. For even after some years has gone by,there yet still is a pain that never died, the tears that never dried, the broken heart that never healed, the heart that still bleeds, all because of you.

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